I just saw these, they made me laugh a lot

“Bruce Schneier is not balding, you just can`t see the encrypted portions of his hair.”

“Once Bruce Schneier was kidnapped and taken out of the country. His
kidnappers got picked up and charged with a violation of US
cryptography export laws.”

“Bruce Schneier doesn`t need a radio. He can just listens to `cat
/dev/random >/dev/audio` to find out what`s going on anywhere in the
world.”

“Bruce Schneier is a proof that one way functions do not exist.”

“There are no prime numbers, just numbers Bruce Schneier hasn`t bothered to factor yet.”

“Bruce Schneier`s secure handshake is so strong, you won`t be able to exchange keys with anyone else for days.”

and the classic: “Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob`s shared secret.”